I was riding in the car yesterday with one of my best friends, Robin. We were headed to a painting class, and it had been a couple of weeks since we could actually sit down together and talk (even though I was driving at the time).
She asked me how it felt, turning 3o. I told her I was ready for the next part of my life, and actually excited about the opportunities of the future. It’s true that no one likes to get older, but I think that I know I can have a much more solid decade than my twenties. I am not saying I regret anything—everything that has happened before brought me to where I am today. For that I will be forever grateful.
We began talking about the man I am currently dating, and she asked a lot of questions. I know she is concerned about me, after dealing with two past relationships that she deemed “toxic.” She is truly a great friend that wants nothing more than for me to be happy. I know it hurts her when I am in situations that aren’t the best for me. I wish everyone could have friends like that.
We stopped at the Nissan plant to see Jeremy, so he could take a look at my car. I know Robin was so excited to take a look at all of the new cars. She began jabbering about how quiet the electric car was, and how blind people would be hit by the cars. I gave her a puzzled look (because I was clearly thinking about something else), and she went on to tell me that the Prius had to add something to their cars that made “noise” so blind people would know it was coming. I began to wonder why they didn’t attach a jingle bell like people do with cats. Surely they would hear it coming…
My car has given me nothing but grief for the past year. I am starting to believe that it is the last thing from my ended marriage long ago, and there’s something in the universe that wants to keep giving me grief. Like maybe I got off to easy getting out of the marriage, and now I have this evil car that causes trouble just to make me suffer. It’s the kind of suffering I felt when I was still married… Jeez
When we got back in the car, Robin gave me her evaluation of Jeremy. True, they had only talked for about 20 minutes, but now she was becoming pretty good at spotting trouble. Even when she is making nonsensical comments, she is listening and evaluating responses. She is watching body language, and seeing how people talk to others. She’s like my real-life Dr. Cal Lightman (which is from the show Lie to Me). One further plug for the show: it’s one of my absolute favorites, and if you have never seen it, you must!
I was a little nervous to hear what she had to say, because she tells the truth and doesn’t worry about sugar coating it.
“He’s a little soft-spoken… but very confident… he was always at ease… and could you have possibly found someone cuter? He’s adorable!”
Well, I know they didn’t interact for too long, but I guess this is a good start…
She changed subjects and asked me about the project, since my birthday is around the corner. I told her I was almost done, but had a few projects that I didn’t get around to completing (since the ridiculous stuff got in the way).
“That’s so nice how you can be so kind to yourself, giving an extension and all that…”
I couldn’t tell if she was pulling a passive-aggressive mother comment. I think she was just being funny. She went on to tell me that she thought the project was neat, and wondered what my mind would do for all the rest of the years of my life, since there weren’t a hundred things to occupy it.
I told her I was starting a new project, to complete by the time I turn 40. This would be more of a long-term project involving classes, life goals, travel, and embracing my family as they grow.
I told her I had a conversation with Jeremy, and he wanted to help me complete some goals.
“Oh! That’s simply fantastic! This is quite the ending event of Project One!”
I glanced over at her, and asked “what do you mean?”
She started laughing, “Don’t you see? All through this first project, you learned to love yourself. You learned to deal with life, and you were healing from all the grief you have been through. You even dealt with getting back out there in dating, and realizing what you want and don’t want now.”
She went on “Now, at the end of this grand event, you found someone that wants to continue the journey with you! That is more than fantastic! Someone to plan things with, join you on your journey! You need this at this point in your life, and I am beyond happy for you!!”
I guess she was right. I had been completed all of these goals and learned a lot about myself. Now, I am standing her confident and content in my future. It is quite fantastic that I’ve found someone that wants to join me for the next part. I know we would all be so lucky to find this.
Lucky enough to find someone that sends a message to wish us a good morning. Lucky enough to find someone that cares about our comfort and safety, even if it might ruin his clothes. Lucky enough to find someone to talk to for hours on end, and that you can’t wait to talk to again.
I will say this journey has been a success, and another one is about to begin…