So, there's this guy...

I think I have been pretty guarded on what I share on this site, because I really don't know a lot of the people I interact with through my posts.  I also had to wonder if anyone really cares about all the drama of my life.  In retrospect, there's probably a Lifetime miniseries in my past, but now's not really the time to rehash past mishaps...

So, there's this guy... I know some of you are reading this and going "hey! I knew she would find someone!"  There's probably at least one of you that is genuinely surprised that something great has happened so quickly (which really hasn't been quick at all).  Since I didn't publicly announce all of my issues over the past few years, I have even run into people that ask about my marriage, and I feel weird when I have to tell them I am divorced, have been for quite some time, and have someone new in my life.

But I will say this: I am HAPPY. I was talking about this today--I am at a GOOD point in my life, and I absolutely love being loved, supported, cherished.  And I love being able to show that in return.

What does this have to do with my goals?

Well, if you look back on the list of goals, you will see that there was nothing about relationships on the list.  I figured when I was happy with myself, and was making steps in the right direction, then love would find me.  I was right--it just took time for me to focus on the necessary self-development.  The rest would eventually fall into place.

So, this guy happens to be very supportive of my list of goals.  He did gulp when he realized he did indeed have to take me fishing so I could catch my fish. He is eager to work with me, and to give me TIME.  At this point in my life, I identified that I needed stability, mental exercise, support, and kindness.  I am happy to say that I have found all of these things in Tom. He's steady, fun, a great confidante, and pushes me to reach my goals (and dreams).

So, today he took me to secure a fishing license... Then to purchase fishing "supplies." I honestly knew nothing about fishing, and didn't even know what to call the parts.  I had a great time watching him scan through the aisles to find the parts for his mental plan.  I am very excited about the idea of trying something new, and I am glad I have him there to help me learn!

I am not a gushy person by nature.  By that, I mean that I don't really get warm and fuzzy at Valentine's Day, I don't remember anniversaries of trivial things, and I will only turn on Lifetime to catch a rerun of a sitcom.  I am emotional, and enjoy being able to feel things.  Without being too gushy, I am enjoying being able to feel love.  It's a good thing.

I was talking to him the other day, and we were discussing when it was that we first met. I couldn't remember when it even was (see, not too girly)...

He said he remembered when we met.  I came into his store to drop off discs for a repair.  He said that he was poorly dressed and I blushed when I saw him.

That reminded me of a famous quote:

"When I saw you I fell in love

and you smiled because you knew"

Some things just happen.  Life has a way of working out, and a lot of times for the better.  While I was busy focusing on these projects, my life was healing, and I was ready to find what makes me happy. 

And someone has a birthday coming up quickly... He wants a frog cake, and that just happens to be a project I need to complete. :-D

Self-Improvement

So I needed to write an essay about myself for a supplemental application for grad school.  The essay topic was about what events happened in my life, and how I dealt with them.  It asked if I was at all looking for self-improvement along the way.

I wondered if I could just post a link to this blog...

I will tell you, as I sat down to write the essay, that I stared at the screen for about ten minutes without typing a single thing.  And even when I typed out the first two sentences, I backed up and started again.

And again.

I was stuck.  How can I write this stuff for people all over the country and world, but I have a hard time writing for a counseling committee in Middle Tennessee?

I finally realized what it was--I had a limit. 600 words.  In 600 words, I had to tell these people everything they needed to know about me.  That's a hard thing to do, and I wanted to make sure I fit everything in there.

After writing the essay, I read back over it to edit.  Then I realized there was a slim chance the committee would believe everything I wrote.  Everything was 100% true, but once I put it down on paper I seemed to even doubt myself.  How can this many bad things happen to one person over 10 years?  How am I still around, and how I am THRIVING amidst all of this adversity?

Then I realized that might just be what they are looking for in a counselor.

I AM a goal-setter, a motivator, and one that looks at adversity as something that shapes where I am going.  It isn't a road-block; just a hurdle.  I am compassionate and empathetic, and what I have been through prepares me for what I will deal with in the future.

And the big thing is that I see ways I can work on "myself" daily.  There are ways I am always striving to be better at who I am--as a teacher, girlfriend, mother, human being.  I am a realist, and I know that life isn't always going to be perfect.  I'm not always going to be perfect, but I can do my best.

And when life hits a bumpy patch? I can draw on the strength of my past experience, and ride it out.

So, I finished my essay, completed other paperwork, and prepared to mail my work to the university.  I start classes sometime this year, depending on when I can register, what my schedule is with the children, and how I can budget out the money to pay.  Just a few more hurdles before I head out on my way.

By the way, I was fully intending to write more over this summer.  Between work and sleep and all the day-to-day duties, I found a wonderful thing to occupy my time: reading! I am finally working on my list of books.

And next week, I will hopefully catch my fish...