What's in a Name?

I thought about all of my nicknames today.

When I was little, I was called "Shelly," then "Shell-Belle" after the Beatles' "My Michelle."

Friends gave me a few random nicknames over time, but I always just preferred my name. I figured I was given it for a reason- I might as well stick with it...

When I got married, I was given a nickname. "Chicky." I have no idea where it came from or why it came about, but apparently it stuck.  I was never really a fan, but thought everyone needed an endearing nickname.  Of course, it also made me feel like a puppy or something.  I never could reconcile the idea in my mind.

I talked to a friend a few months back, and she mentioned that a major red flag of an emotional or physical abuser is they won't use your given name in common conversation.  It creates a connection with you, and makes it harder to belittle you and degrade you.  Makes sense to me--I would have a hard time being cruel to something I have an emotional connection with.  Of course, I have a hard time being cruel in general.

So, when there were times I wasn't called my name, I just went with the flow.

Then, as I became a teacher, I turned into Mrs. Winn.  I liked the novelty of it for a while, but then after hearing it hundreds of times a day, it gets old...

Now that I am divorced, I asked that the school call me Ms. Winn. I still kept the name for now- avoid confusion with work, my kids, so on.  I do love to hear the announcements in the morning when the principal will sometimes say "If you have any questions, report to Mrs. Winn.... MS. Winn's room..."

I looked at changing my name back to my maiden name, but it is a hassle in my job. This is part of my identity now anyway. I figure I will change it again when I get married- what's the rush now?

Today, I was given a nickname. Well, really the proposal of a nickname. And then a few nicknames were tried (and failed). Which started a discussion of nicknames...  I voiced my opinion about them in general, but decided maybe it was time to loosen up a little.

I said as long as it wasn't something obnoxious, or an inanimate object. Or Ferret. Definitely not Ferret.

Names are funny- for things in general.  We assign things, animals, and people names because we give them meaning.  We have different names for the same things, often because we view them from different perspectives, and call them different things (according to functions and such).  Cultures use different names.  Even one person can be considered all of these: wife, mother, daughter, teacher, neighbor, etc...

I was given a name of value when I was born, and I earned the respect that went along with that name.  During a period in my life, I feel that value was definitely taken away (and I definitely lost my name for a while). I guess that's as far as I need to go into that situation for right now, but suffice it to say that I hold a lot of value in naming things and people.  In the same breath, I will also say that I will accept bonds with people, and any random names that may come along with these bonds.  As much as it annoyed me in the past, I realize now I need to meet people half-way, and I really do need to loosen up.

Please don't let it be Ferret...

Letter of Recommendation

This week I wrote my first letter of recommendation for a college... EVER.

I have been teaching for five years, but typically deal with students that are not in very competitive studies after high school.  When I did teach high school, it was in the special education setting--those students were thrilled they got to the point of GRADUATING high school.  They had goals, but it was such an unfair battle for them to even get their diploma.  Being competitive for college would have been a whole other battle they weren't willing to fight.  But that gets me on another soapbox...

Back to the letter...  I agreed to write the letter, and was very enthusiastic about recommending the student for any scholarship or programs the school had to offer.  There was no question about her abilities--I wondered why I had such a hard time coming up with the words.

Anyone that has known me for more than a few minutes has found I rarely have a hard time coming up with something to say.  I always have a thought or opinion, and I am not afraid to share it.  I will gladly sing this student's praises, but I had to start thinking about why I couldn't write the letter.

I pulled out a file of all of my letters of recommendation from the past.  I have a folder where I have them stored away from normal viewing.  I was hoping to find a pattern in the letters, and some ideas about what colleges would want to hear.  After all, I had been accepted to a variety of schools and was given scholarships--these letters must have done something?

I will say that I must have only glanced at these letters in the past.  Or maybe I really didn't understand their meaning while I was young.  Really, I think I didn't want to hear someone say wonderful things about me.  I didn't want them to say all these great things to colleges, hoping to impress them.  I have never been a person that worries about impressing those around her.  I have always marched to my own beat, and I have always been satisfied with that.

That is where my struggle ended.  I realized that my problem was that I did not want to list all of the wonderful things this student did solely for the hopes of impressing someone.  I was already impressed by this student, but wanted to write the letter so my real feelings would come across.  I didn't want the letter to feel fake, or to look like a form letter of regurgitated compliments.

So, I told stories about her compassion and honesty.  I pointed out how dedicated she is to helping students with disabilities.  How she has a sense of humor that eases those around her.  How her motivation will never let her down.

I hope she reads the letter.  I hope the schools pay attention when they read it as well.  I wrote the letter "To Whom It May Concern" as if I was talking to her.  I think that's the way a letter of recommendation should be.  Anyone can make a random list of qualities that someone might fit.  I hope it makes more of an impact when I explain all the ways she has made an impact on my life.

I came across the letter from my high school English teacher.  She wrote a two-page letter of recommendation in which she detailed very specific instances of how I impressed her with my motivation, dedication, compassion, and ability to lead.  She talked about my writing abilities, my insatiable desire to read, and my sense of humor.  You could tell that she sat down and thought about who she was writing about.  The letter was incredibly personal, and was very touching to read now.

I hope this student will pull out this letter in ten years or so, take a good read, and realize what an important part she has played in my education career.  I do believe I also need to make an appointment to speak with my English teacher.  I believe that visit is long overdue.

Literature, travel and language, oh my!

Well, at the end of the day today I said that I would have my list of ten books that I would read.  I went to the local Hastings, and checked out the Classics section.  I talked to a few different people, and one rather enthusiastic employee.  I explained the project, my educational and career background, and asked for recommendations in different genres.  I fully realize that there are tens of thousands of books that I have yet to read.  For a person that spent years with her nose in a book, I will be the first to admit that there are tons of books I missed.  Perhaps because I was making snow angels and paper snowflakes as well? 

I could have spent all day in this tiny section--I couldn't make up my mind! I know I will not stop reading once this project is over, so I tried not to make this decision too difficult.  I decided to pick 5 of the books today, and return once I have read a book or two.  I will also entertain the idea of further research and suggestions from friends, colleagues, and random people.  Sometimes this is the best way to get a good read. :-)

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Around the World in Eighty Days, by Jules Verne

2. The Time Machine, by HG Wells

3. On the Road, by Jack Kerouac

4. The Origin of Species, by Charles Darwin

5. The Hobbit, by J.R. R. Tolkien

 Let it be known that I talk to only men in this discussion (as can be noticed in the above list). Since I am noticeably female, I thought this would be a refreshing change from the norm. :-)

 I have located my passport in the sea of paperwork... It expired last year.  So, I shall send it off in the next few weeks to get it renewed.  I have no idea where I will go yet, but I know I will need a passport to do it.  I am not terribly keen on Mexico, but I don't really know where else I can go on a single mom teacher's salary.  I do have a teacher's schedule though (June and July are off!).

I have located a site that teaches basic Italian conversational phrases (and more than twenty of them!).  I figure I will start there and see if I have any success.  From what I remember in my years of language classes, practice makes perfect.  So, I will do my best to throw Italian into my daily conversation... and scare the people in the small town where I live... this should be fun! ;-)