A Final Update for My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday... the big 3-0. I was actually excited to turn 30, but I was a little sad that I left so many projects unfinished. I knew that things came up, but that also isn't my personality. I don't let things get in the way of a goal.  I have to be flexible, and be able to roll with the punches, but I also need to hold onto my goals so that I actually reach them.

What are the goals I didn't reach?

1. Ride in a hot air balloon.
2. Raise $1,000 for charity.
3. Read 10 books (I had three left).
4. Run a 10K. Finish a 10K.
5. Buy and drink an expensive bottle of wine.

I want to mention what happened yesterday, because it seemed almost surreal. I know I didn't finish my list, but it was a good memory for a birthday...

Yesterday morning, my kids were dancing beside my bed, screaming "Your birthday!!! You have presents!!!"

We woke up and got ready (since the motivation of presents made them get ready quicker). Once I was ready, I began to open my presents. 

One of the presents? 1 giant pencil (by giant, I mean a foot long!). Alex told me I can use that because I am a writer, and I write a lot of things.  His next present? A hot air balloon suncatcher. He told me this was a great hot air balloon because we can sit and look at it together. I thought that was incredibly sweet.

Carly's present for me? A purple sparkly piggy bank. She told me now I can save money for all my new adventures. I can already tell she is going to have the adventure spark like me.

I went through my day at work, talking with students, teaching a bit, and having a fairly good day. I was able to make it to Carly's Thanksgiving meal, so I enjoyed being able to spend time with her.

When we made it home, my mother took me to a benefit for a school in India. It was a Murder Mystery Dinner, and we were able to talk with all sorts of people (including Gandhi's grandson). How much did we raise for charity?

$1,000

YAY!!! One more project off the list, and on my birthday! Fantastic!!!

So, that renewed my interest in finishing this project, and in starting my new one. I know I need to finish these goals, and I imagine that it will be complete soon.

And for the new project? I wrote a list of ten goals that include life goals and places to visit. I want to finish the project by the time I am 40.  Obviously I won't be running around crazy, trying to complete these items.  I will enjoy working on each step, and will capture tons of memories along the way.

The new site is: http://embracing10before40.blogspot.com

One More Project Down!

I become frustrated often when I am not able to create my ideas.  I blame this excuse on my lack of attempts to pursue art. I am a perfectionist, and sometimes I will admit that I don't attempt something because I am afraid of the results.

One of my projects was to learn to decorate a cake.  Now I can bake, and have been doing so for many years.  Ever since I was a young child, I remember helping my mother bake cookies for Christmas, and decorate cakes.  Decorating a cake really meant smearing icing on the top of a cake in a pan, and decorating it with letters and candies.  My mother decorated cakes for a hobby, but she knew better than to pursue such a project with tiny hands around.

As I grew older, I knew that making cakes would be interesting.  I also knew it was hard work, and I gave applause to any person that was patient and steady enough to handle such a tedious task.  My hands shake terribly, so I pretty much assumed I would never write beautiful script on a cake.

I had a dream for many years that I would make my children's birthday cakes.  I knew they wouldn't be perfect, but they would be homemade, and from the heart.  The biggest thing that kept me from making their annual cakes was that I was afraid they wouldn't be cute enough.  I actually had nightmares of a cake that looked less like a monkey and more like an evil gremlin.  I really didn't want to be the cause of any toddler fears...

Tom decided he wanted a frog cake for his birthday.  I appreciate that he had no other real requirements than that it was a frog.  Or that it had a frog on it. Or it had some sort of frog theme.  Really, it would be pretty easy to make something that fell within those guidelines.

So, I started out with a design in my head.  Then I realized I didn't have THAT much talent, and went for something more realistic.  I scoured websites and watched YouTube videos my friend Becca posted for me. I really thought about the process, and what it would take to produce a realistic frog.  I accepted the fact that the cake was not going to look like my mental image.

And Carly wanted to help... I know that any time a 3-year old gets involved in a baking project, it's more about the experience and less about the result.  She was wielding a spoon of green icing through the decorating process, so as I looked at the final project, I was pretty darn impressed.

It's definitely a more cartoon cutesy version of a frog, but I think it turned out pretty darn cute! And we had a leftover cupcake from the batch, and the cake was delicious!  Looks like another project down!!! Hope he enjoys the results (even if it's a month late!!!)...

Tom's Frog Birthday Cake

 

Onto the next project...

The Start of Another Year

I wanted to write a nice reflective piece about how the past year has been one of significant evolution. I wanted to write this eloquent piece on the anniversary of my moving back to Tullahoma, and talk about all of the events.

Then I ended up with a 103.8 fever, so I decided on Plan B...

This past week, I ended up with some sort of illness.  Over the years, I have really stopped trying to pinpoint exactly what I have each time (mostly because it will end up driving me mad). I don't know if I can remember being so miserable in my life (which really says a lot when you know about the level of daily pain I have).  I felt delirious from fever, everything in my body hurt at a level I had never felt, and I couldn't swallow. Even drinking small amounts of fluids caused me tremendous pain.

I continued to go to work, because I knew I needed to hear what was going on before school started.  I also knew I am a single parent, and can't afford to give up sick days unless absolutely necessary.  So, I minimized my risk at work, decided not to lick anyone for those days, and sat through meetings while I shivered.

Now that I made it through the week and am feeling somewhat normal, I can get back to my original intention.  I wanted to look back over this year...

I remember a little over a year ago: I packed up my necessary belongings, two children and a dog, and moved to Tullahoma.  The car overheated on the way, and I wondered if I was going to make it to my parents' house in one piece.  I was moving in about twelve hours before starting my new job, and took enough clothing and personal items to last us a few weeks.  We would be moving the remainder of the house two weeks later.  

Well, the two weeks turned into a month, and eventually we just wanted to get everything to Tullahoma.  It's hard to "start over" when everything happens in stuck stages.  What I mean is that the moment of me driving down the road toward Tullahoma- THAT should have been starting over.  But I knew I was in limbo until I had my belongings.  

Then fighting moving companies and packing up everything by hand (and with the help of incredible neighbors and family!).  I remember finally driving away from the old house and FINALLY realizing I never had to go back to that place... There were a lot of rough memories there, and it was a great feeling to let go.

A few months later, the divorce was final. Another pivotal moment when I walked out of the courthouse and realized that I was finally free.  I had done a lot on my own for quite some time.  But I was finally ON MY OWN.  Some people feel terrified after a divorce is final.  I felt liberated...

And it was after this time, I decided to put this project into full-force.  I had a list floating around in my head, but it took the divorce being over for me to realize my life was ultimately up to me now.  I had two children to care for, but I didn't have anyone to answer to.  I didn't have anyone to tell me that a place was "too far," or an idea was "too crazy," or we didn't "have time" to try something.  There were no more excuses.

And so I began this journey. It really had everything to do with me--what I wanted, what I needed, and what would heal my soul.  There was an awful lot of hurt that had been piling from years of events, and I needed time to sift.  This really had little to do with the divorce, and more to do with recovering from my injury.  I realized I didn't have time to deal with the injury because I was enduring a miserable existence at that time.  I believe the brain is an awesome tool, and it only lets you deal with little bits of information at a time.  If you had to deal with the reality all at once, you would most certainly go crazy.

I didn't have the advantage of having a fully-functioning brain.  

So, I had a flood.

And I felt like I went crazy.  Never in front of others, and it was never noticed.  I just felt like who I was slipped away and returned frequently.  I am not sure who was there, filling the void, during all the other times. I know my eyes looked vacant often, and I imagine those were the times my soul attempted a vacation.

I try to be optimistic and enthusiastic on here. I. try.

Let me say briefly: recovering from a brain injury can be maddening.  There are days three years later that I don't remember a connection I have with someone.  I wake up and don't remember that I love this person? I can stand next to someone, and have to question my exact feelings, because my mind has to remind me how I am supposed to feel. It isn't depression or any sort of mental flatness.  I can't remember who I am connected to and who I am not.

This doesn't happen often, so I hope people don't read that and think I am on the edge of doom here...

But it happens enough to make me very afraid.

And the other part that has been hard? The recovery of my muscles.  For every two months forward, it's one to three months back. I have been working and training, and then resting and moving again.  I wonder if my training did any good, since I ended up with two surgeries and one leg that will never be the same.  In fact, the surgeon is now referring me to a manager for the pain, because a resulting condition from the surgery has no cure.  As long as I have the condition, I will have the miserable agony.  And I will have the miserable condition forever.  Fan-freakin'-tastic...

I do have to pick myself up out of this hole now and focus on the positive of the year.  Any more of the miserable, and I could be stuck for quite a long time...

In the winter, I did meet a most fantastic man.  I will say I was skeptical of the idea of connecting with someone again.  I had an almost analytical approach to dating, and tried to sell myself on all of the reasons I didn't really even need to worry about finding someone.  The reality: penguins have it figured out. They find a mate, and stick with them.  It's better for their physical well-being, emotional security, and sanity.  Being a pair and having a bond with someone is incredibly important.  I get it now.

So, through these months, life has seemed to evolve for Tom and me. I have pushed through these goals, we have taken a lot of walks, had a lot of talks, and tried briefly to solve some of the world's problems.  I appreciate that he endures my enthusiasm for many topics, that he encourages my ideas, and is patient on the days I am feeling rough. I will say that last part was the major reason I really thought about not dating for a long time.  I know I was in pretty bad shape after the accident.  I know it will never be that bad again, but I also never want to be a burden like that for someone.  

I know that none of us can control what will happen in life.  If something happened to him, I would of course do what I needed to do to care for him, and not think much of it.  I guess it was a lot for me to expect someone to do the same.  I'm not sure why, and a therapist would probably have a field day with that revelation...

In a little over 100 days, I will turn 30.  That really doesn't seem like a lot once I write that number.  I still have quite a few projects to mark off the list before the big day.  It seems that life has changed drastically in the past year, and there are many more memories to make in the next hundred days. 

And as some sort of evil cosmic joke, I see a Twilight movie is being released on my birthday... So, there are people with tickers on their Facebook statuses, counting down the days to my birthday... with a wimpy vampire's face next to the number...

Happy birthday to me... :-P

Breaking Point

I realized I hadn't written in a week or so, and I guess I need to back up and give the full story...

My life has been running smoothly- I have been enjoying my job, I love watching my children grow, and I have been motivated by working on all of these projects.  Life has been good!

There is something that is always lurking. It is my shadow, and I wish I could shake it. I have good days, and I think that maybe it was a dream- maybe I was exaggerating the pain.  Maybe I was just being a wimp.

Then it hits. And I feel like I have been run over by a Mack truck. Then the truck backed up and ran over me again, and again, and again. 

I went on for years like this. It was the aching like the flu, but for every day of my life. If you can imagine the aching that makes it hurt to change the channel, hurt to blow your nose, and wonder if you can even make it to the bathroom and back--this is what I deal with every day.  You learn to live with it, but it's misery.  There's no way I can go without a job, so I carry on. I try to remain optimistic that there will be treatments that will work, but so far there has been nothing.

The pain is bad, but the worst part for me is that my brain gets slow. It almost feels like it comes to a grinding halt.  I know when there are too many messages traveling around my body, it is hard for one to concentrate.  I also know that I am particularly sensitive to my brain and it's ability to think.  So, while people may not notice that I am having trouble, it is killing me inside.

This morning was my breaking point.  I have had a week of pain that has been building, but I have really tried to shake it.  Looks like remission is over, and a flare is in the works. I was already going to be home today to care for a sick child, so I am now able to regroup and look at what I need to do to maintain some sanity.

In the past, I remember that eating certain diets has helped dramatically.  It looks like I will be taking another look at the gluten-free diet.  I have read a lot of conflicting research on the matter, but I know that for me personally, it seems to work.  I also know that there is a lot of food allergy in my family, particularly with wheat (on both sides).  I guess this was a long time coming...

I also need to exercise my boundaries, and say no to extra things.  There has been a lot of undue stress lately, and I am sure it has taken its toll.  I know that I am worth nothing when I am miserably sick, so I need to put myself first.  Since I am the sole provider for myself and my children, I need to be extra-vigilant to make sure I am well enough to work.  I am sure that situation in itself creates extra stress.

I have a few more weeks of work, then I work a very light schedule for a month (extended school year).  This should provide me an opportunity to keep my mind active and bring in some money, but also get the rest I need.  I also have a ton of projects I'd like to get involved in. I have books to read, places to go, and a massive scrapbooking project to undertake.  These are all things I will enjoy, and that will be low-stress, so I am sure they will be healing for my body and soul.

I always take it hard when a flare starts up.  It's like I let myself down.  For those of you that don't know much about fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome, I am going to take an opportunity to educate.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia (FMS) are regarded as two different disorders, but are often overlapping.  CFS focuses on immune dysregulation where you feel an incredible amount of disabling fatigue, often with a low-grade fever and achiness.  It's not fun. At. All.

Fibromyalgia is over-active nerves and tenderness throughout the body. It's a widespread body pain that will wipe you out.  It often feels like the pain you have from the flu, and it also causes hypersensitivity to the world around you. Touch, fabrics, temperatures, lights, smells- everything causes headaches, nausea, irritability.  It's like your body is on sensory overload, and is just SCREAMING!!!

For a long time, doctors thought people were just crazy. I really believe because there are more women diagnosed, it went along with the fact that some people believe women just have psychosomatic issues or are just faking for attention.  The reality is that there are men that live with these illnesses, but are under-diagnosed, or don't go to the doctor for care for fear of the label.  There is also a strong connection between people that have suffered abuse or some sort of trauma and fibromyalgia, so some people are quick to believe it is some sort of mental label.  The brain rewires pain signals after physical traumas (violent attacks, car accidents, abuse, rape), so it is no wonder that people would end up with chronic issues involving nerves, muscles, and the immune system after such events.  It should be mentioned that some people develop these problems with no such histories.

Sleep disorders- my last rant.  I think the body would be able to heal itself if decent sleep were to occur.  People with CFS and/or FMS desperately want and need sleep, but can't get restorative sleep to save their lives.  My body never goes into deep sleep.  Well, it can go into deep sleep from the hours of 1-4pm pretty reliably, but I can't seem to find a job or lifestyle that is conducive to that sleep pattern.  So, I live a life of sleep deprivation.  Sleep aids don't help, I monitor my exercise, and I still end up exhausted.  I fall asleep early, and "should" get plenty of sleep.  I wake up exhausted beyond belief. every. single. morning.

For those of you that already knew about CFS/FMS, I apologize for my PSA.  For those of you that didn't know, I hope that offered a brief summary.  I am not a pessimist by nature, and I guess that's why I have lasted so long.  I am quickly becoming a realist, and I am seeing what I am now capable of handling.  At this point, I am looking at the next few weeks and seeing I will need to follow a pretty tight schedule.

So the kids' birthday party is going to be relatively low-key, the work commitments will be met, and nothing more, and to those of you that send me messages and want an immediate response- I apologize in advance.  I am going to make an effort to see friends, to laugh every day, and to get hugs as often as possible.  I want to stay upbeat and positive in what I know is about to be a rough time.

Update...

I realized earlier this evening that I had not posted my progress in a while.  I actually hadn't posted anything in a while...  I guess it's time for an update!

Surgery is really what put me into a funk. I wasn't thrilled that I would have an extended recovery, and I was really on eggshells until I went to get my post-op ultrasound and had a chance to look at the progress.  This surgery was supposed to free me, and I was not happy that my recovery was going to take longer than expected (since it has been a THREE year process!).

Well, it will be at least three more months before I get some real progress. I have some major swelling left over, but it's supposed to resolve soon.  I am walking daily, and this helps to get everything moving.

I am happy to announce that I am on my way to completing another mission: to learn website design!

I have been walking, talking, and such with a friend, Tom. He works on computer programming for a living, so he has given me a lesson and some pointers on how to layout a website beyond the templates that blogger gives.  I am not saying I want to be an expert in the area- it was just something I always wondered about.  I want to work on creating a site to link my writings, this blog, and some other projects. I will call this mission a near-success, with some actual application meeting my goal. 

The walking has also helped get me moving to get back into training.  I am really not certain what I need to do for my goal to run a 10K.  I know I just need to keep moving and wait to see what happens.  I have little control over anything other than helping myself, and I will do my best.  At the next doctor's appt, I will reevaluate my goal.

I have my stack of books primed and ready for summer break. I am disappointed that I didn't get to read more in the past few months.  Life has kept me extra busy, and I know for the next three weeks I will be treading water.  It is nice to know there is a stack of books that will be waiting for me once I get a break. :-)

I am going to work on arranging the fish catch, and I need to schedule my hot air balloon ride.  I am ready to get out and do those things, now that I am somewhat mobile.

These past two weeks have been incredibly calming.  I have been able to focus on what I need to do, I have been more productive, and I can see that my energy has increased.  It is funny how waves of peace and calm can move through your life.  I really think you don't realize how wonderful it is until you have gone through a storm.  I like the structure and order and calm of my environment, because it was not like that a year ago.  I like having my life back, and I am excited to look at the future.

My daughter's third birthday was Friday, and I thought back over these past three years.  It's been a rough ride, and I wonder at times how I survived.  She has been an incredible presence in my life, and I feel like she was sent to save me.  The other morning I woke up and wrote something for her birthday.  At first I didn't feel like sharing, but it seems like a pretty vital message in the whole scheme of things.

 These Three Years

I waited for my life to change again.

Had enough with change,

and was frankly sick of it all.

Little did I know,

change had just begun.

It would consume me.

My savior-my lifeline

would soon be born.

She was the hope I had dreamed of,

and knew she would rescue me.

She is the spirit of everything

I could ever hope to be.

Everyone says she is my shadow,

my likeness.

As time has moved on,

hair has grown longer,

young faces are older.

Lessons were learned,

both mother and daughter.

My saving grace has walked

beside me through these years.

Through illness, injury, and desertion-

her trusting eyes,

her comforting stroke of my hair,

as I hold her against me at night.

A creature creeps into my room

in early morning.

A whisper:

             "Don't worry Mommy, I'll save you."

My reply:

            "You already have."

Pain, Pain, Go Away...

First of all, I realize that a lot of my recent posts don't mention the ongoing project of 15 Before 30. I am going to create another post later tonight that will provide an update on the project.

Two weeks ago I had a leg surgery. It was a relatively simple procedure, and I was told I would be back to my old self in a couple of days.  This same procedure was supposed to be the start of a two-part surgery that would wrap up my 2.5 years of pain.  This was supposed to be it! I would be free!

For those of you that have known me for a while, you know I have lived with pain. Well, for some of you that know me, you still may have never heard about it. I was miserable, but I tried not to complain too much.  I remember visiting a specialist, and after him asking me the same question for the thousandth time: "Rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10." I screamed "14!!!!"

Pain can do terrible things to your body.  It makes you mentally miserable, it limits your daily activities, and it cuts you off from your social circles.  It's even worse when the wounds are healed, and the pain lingers.  There isn't a cast or a bandage for people to see.  They assume you made a miraculous comeback, and nothing can stop you!  Pain doesn't work that way for me.  I am fearful it will always be my companion.

When I started running, I knew a little trick.  With fibromyalgia and chronic pain, you can sometimes overwork your body, and it short circuits the pain response.  I really had that going for me for a few months, and I was feeling better than I had in years!  No medications or anything--just intense exercise and eating right.

Then the leg issues cropped up. Surgery #1, like I said, should have been a couple of days of recovery.  Two weeks later, I still have terrible pain in the leg.  I walked, I wrapped, I propped, I did everything they told me to do!  I have severe almost-painful numbness on my lower leg, and it feels like all the nerves have been fried. A blanket on top of my leg at night causes intense pain. Great...

Wednesday was surgery #2. It was supposed to be very similar to surgery #1, and the recovery time should have been short as well.  I knew better this time, and realized that the recovery might change from a few days to two weeks.  After a terribly painful procedure (I was only partially sedated), I was told it would be a six month recovery.

Six months.

Six months?!?

There were a lot of emotions that ran through me on Wednesday, as well as a lot of Valium.  I knew that some of the emotions were exaggerated from the medications, but others were real.  I had finally gotten my life and my body back together.  I survived the attack and recovery, I survived a divorce, relocation, and new job, and I had been doing well pushing myself physically.  Now, it was like a blow to the stomach.  Why don't they just chop off my leg now?

Ok, that was too dramatic.  But the reality was, I didn't know if I would ever get back to where I was, if I would ever heal and be the person I wanted to be, and if I would get to have the life I have been dreaming about and planning.

There was a lot of tears.

I realized that I have no control over some things that happen in my life, but I can choose how I react.  I am doing exactly what the doctor has told me, and will be taking it very easy.  This is going to be hard when I am used to speeding through life at 100 miles an hour.

I am going to reevaluate a few things.  There was a selfish response on Wednesday, and I'm not really proud that it was one of my first thoughts:

I thought about the recovery, and the unknown.  And I thought about relationships.  Who would sign up to deal with these damaged goods?  I was finally to the point where I could entertain the idea of a long-term relationship again.  Why would someone knowingly get involved with me when there was a lot going on.  And I feel it's only fair that people would know what they are getting into.  I am being dramatic again, but I feel like a leper of sorts.

So, this post isn't positive and upbeat.  We all have our rough times in life.  This has been my week.  Really, this has been a flashback of the past three years for me.  The three years I thought I could finally put behind me.

But there is something positive that has come of it.

Events like this do weed out the people that are not invested.  They tell me who wants to stick around, and who can't handle the trouble.  We've seen it in the past already.  So I will take this as an experience that will hopefully show me something new and different about myself, and even those around me.

I have contemplated adapting my 10K goal, but I don't want to change plans yet. It's like giving up. I am not ready for that yet...

And I have seven more months before my birthday. A lot can happen in seven months...

The Beginning...

The concept of this blog actually started months ago, but I pulled this post together tonight. I made my list in October, while I was in the FINAL steps of a divorce (that felt like it went on forever).  I had so many goals for my life, and was looking at turning 29. I had heard so many people talk about the things they wanted to do before they turned any milestone, and that got me thinking about what I wanted to do in life... And what I wanted to do before I turned 30...

First, a little about me... Some of you know me, and some of you will never meet me. I am obviously not 30 yet. I like reading all the time, I live with music in my head, and my running shoes are next to my bed. I teach special education during the day, and I dream of the places I could go at night.  In my spare time I love photography, and I write really bad haikus.  I love cooking, hiking, exploring, daydreaming, cloudwatching, and really at this point just existing. Life is good. :-)

Now, this is where the mission comes in. I have always had goals. I am a goal-oriented person by nature. I remember making a list of things to do before I turned 25, and I did almost all of them (except go to Russia), so I am fairly impressed with myself. I have a Masters degree, a good job, a great family, two kids, good friends, and a fair amount of free time to pursue what I like. This makes my project that much more exciting. :-)

My bachelors degree is in sociology, and I have a fair amount of social research courses between my bachelors and masters degrees. I wanted to pursue this project from a very analytical standpoint. I know some of you are already saying "lighten up and have some fun!" :-)  Now, you have to also understand that in my job my daily goal is task assessment. I write and assess the completion of goals for a living.  So, even though I am putting a rough draft of my goals up here tonight, I am sure to revise them in the upcoming days to make them concrete.  If they are vague, it will be hard to measure if I complete them. I don't do well with wiggle room.  If I can find a way to get around something, I will do it in a heartbeat! I have known myself my whole life, and I know that I will do all I can to try to skate by without fulfilling my part of the bargain. ;-)

So, here is the list of the 15 items I wrote in October.  I like the list because it is random, and it touches on many different areas of my life.  There are many areas that need improvement.  I also like it because I already did some of them (see? I already told you I would try to get by without doing work!):

Michelle's 15 Before 30:

1. Learn to play the drums.
2. Read ten great works of literature.
3. Catch a fish.
4. Learn how to create a website.
5. Run a 10K.
6. Learn how to decorate a cake.
7. Learn 20 words in Italian.
8. Fly first-class.
9. Eat vegetarian for one month... and enjoy it! :-)
10. Ride a hot air balloon.
11. Visit a new country.
12. Raise $1,000 for a charity.
13. Karaoke... in public...
14. Buy and drink a REALLY expensive bottle of wine.
15. Get in much better physical shape- making my numbers look much better at my physical before 30.

Now you can already see that some of these aren't really measurable. I will say that I like all of them, and they will remain on the list.  I have a friend that has committed to helping me with number 6 (thanks Becca!).

I have done Number 13 in December, but does karaokeing for a class of middle and high schoolers count? Wait... as I write this, I have already answered my question... of course that counted... that would have to be a group of the toughest critics out there... and they could all REMEMBER the performance!

I am working on Number 15 right now. I have so far lost 61 pounds, so I believe all of the numbers will be in my favor.  As the year progresses, I will be looking at an even better report from the doctor.  In a later post, I will touch on my past medical info that will give you a glimpse at what an awesome deal it will be for me to run a 10K again. :-)

I am absolutely thrilled to look at this journey for the next 10.5 months.  It has been a phenomenal 29 years so far, and the best is yet to come.  I have led a random life, full of stories and insight that few can attain in twice or three times the years.  I think this project will add some variety to my life, and will also give me back a little of the "social research" I had been missing when I sat in my undergrad classes long ago.  Along the way, this blog will serve as a diary to record my thoughts and progress.  It is neat to think that all of these things can and will be done in a short period of time. :-)

Happy New Year!