This seems like a random post at first, but it is really integral to the whole point of this project. Through the past few weeks, I have had a lot of conversations with people I would have otherwise never talked to. Most of the conversations were for the purpose of this project, and I am grateful for any wisdom or guidance I receive along my journey.
People are interesting. In any organization or form, they are the weakest link. People have the capacity to be incredibly generous and compassionate. They also have the ability to be manipulative and cruel. I have always found motive to be interesting in anything individuals do. I talk to my teenage students about this a lot, because they are in the heart of the battle-- teenagers are MEAN.
So, in this project, why have some people gone out of their way to be supportive and helpful? Why have others maintained skepticism, or made comments that attempted to undermine my intentions? I always wonder about how much of it has to do with childhood, a healthy sense of self, or just the nature of personality. I am convinced there are some people out there that genuinely want to be of service to others. There are also people that have the very nature of raining on someone's parade... ANYONE they can find...
In the past few months, I made a very conscious effort to surround myself with good, positive people. With friends that care and want to help me succeed. With family members that rally for my cause, and do what they can to make sure I am content. In turn, I have been able to give all of these things back to the people around me. It's amazing how these relationships have made me much happier. I feel more successful in all of my daily endeavors, and I am ENJOYING life.
I am learning how to take compliments. I realize that I have always been bad at accepting compliments. For one thing, I have always been confused when people compliment something that genetically I have no control over. I have made the effort to recognize that people want to say good things about me, and to be gracious and accept these comments. It is funny how now that I have been working on receiving compliments, they are coming in at great capacity. Maybe I didn't realize how much people had said in the past, or I just wasn't around the right groups of people.
So the observation of people has obviously been an external one, as well as an introspective journey. For me, I am learning to like myself a lot more, and giving myself permission to acknowledge the great things that people see. I am also seeing very clearly which people are out to help me succeed in life, and which ones want to see me fail. I am all about boundaries now, and I refuse to let the negative take over my life again. I have too many good things going for me now! :-)